Dream, dream, my love
by Silver-griffin
Summary: rated that for slight vilolence and possible...heheh...sesshomaru has died 1 year ago, and rin realizes she loves him and must bring him back...complete!
1. Wow, it's got chapters

A/N: fine, fine, fine. I'll write a fanfic with a different pairing, fair? it'll be cute...i think...  
  
NOT DONE YETTTT!!! KEEP READING~!!!!!  
  
She plunged the dagger into the tiny beast before her, praying for forgiveness as the tiny animal whimpered before sighing its final breath. She wiped a hand across her forehead, sliding down to her cheeks, trying to convince her it was sweat that dotted her eyes, but she knew the truth. Salty beads trailed down her cheeks, mingling with the dirt on her face leaving deep grooves of pale skin through the rusty brown dust. She looked at the smeared blood and dirt on her hands, wincing as she became aware of the warm moistness on her cheeks, knowing the animal's blood was on her face. She let a tear fall down her cheek, catching on her chin, dangling before it dropped to the animal's stained, mattered fur below her.  
She hefted the animal onto her shoulders, not minding the warm liquid slowly seeping down her neck, matting her hair as it trailed down her spine. The furred animal was warm, though it was rapidly cooling with death and growing stiff around her neck. Luckily, she was near the place she had made camp, and she was less than ten paces-and ten minutes-from her first hot meal in weeks. She was not a good hunter, not like her mentor, and the tiny animal hanging around her neck was a feast to her; she would not see such a good meal for many weeks to come.  
She opened her mouth and sighed, licking her lips clean of dirt and sweat, her stomach growing nauseous as she did so, but aware the animal around her neck would awaken hunger in her as soon as it was hanging over her fire. She pushed herself to her feet, having a sudden urge to stay where she was and await the imminent death she deserved. She hesitated, but knew she would have to push on if there was any hope of bring him back; there was no reason for him to have died the death she had unwittingly sentenced him to. As long as blood ran through her veins, she would struggle for a way to bring him back to her.  
She turned her back on the bloodstained plot of land at her feet, guilt washing over her; she had killed an animal, a baby at that, and felt nothing more than little guilt. The guilt she felt was not for killing the youngling, but for feeling no remorse, no sadness; she had become a...hunter. ::But he would be proud of me:: she thought, knowing full well a short year ago she would have blanched at the thought of killing for her dinner. ::He would have patted my head and congratulated me on becoming an adult:: She blinked off the unexpected tears before they had a chance to fall, angry at herself for being so weak.  
She sniffed in the air daintily, eagerly awaiting the tangy scent of burning coals to bombard her with the familiar scent she had known to call home. But she could smell nothing other than the remnants of the fire she had made last night. She stopped in her tracks and looked around the clearing, glaring fiercely at the fire, trying to set it ablaze with her venomous glare, knowing full well that she could not. A flash of moment and the rustle of cloth on leaves alerted her and she turned around, facing the toad...thing by her feet, refocusing her glare on him, a burst of satisfaction lancing through her as he cringed in fear. "Jakken, why in the hell is the fire dead?" she yelled.  
"Rin," Jakken glared back at her and tried to stretch himself out to reach Rin's height, though she stood a good four feet taller than he did. In ten years, the young woman's height had grown dramatically, an unnecessary proof of her adulthood. "I didn't let it go out on purpose. The coals died when I was busy, and I couldn't get the fire started again."  
Rin glared at him, back straightening as her tone took on an accusing tone. "Oh? Then why you were you hiding?" She leaned over and shoved a slim finger in the beaky nose of Jakken. "And what were you 'busy' doing?" She snorted indignantly and straightened her back, looking away in disgust. "Nothing useful, I'm sure."  
Jakken lowered his head, eyes narrowing in anger as he opened him mouth and spat at her, the blob of saliva landing scant inches from her bare feet. "Who the hell do you think you are, Rin? You're just a little orphan. I was hiding because I knew you'd tear me to shreds for allowing your precious fire to die." He turned away from her and folded his arms. "It's not my fault we don't have anymore flint. You should have stolen some; you're good at it, aren't you? Of course you are, you're a filthy thief; if late Sesshomaru-sama had any sense, he would have murdered you like the disgusting human you are."  
Rin slammed her arms tightly against her sides, her face turning a bright crimson. "How dare you speak of Sesshomaru-sama like that?! You have no right to speak about him, not after that disgusting hanyou killed him! You are not worthy of mentioning his name!" Rin lifted her hand to strike him, when she realized what she was doing. ::This isn't like me; Jakken and I have fought before? Why should him mentioning Sesshomaru make it any different for me:: She knew the answer, though, and it frightened her. ::Because you-::  
"Precious, Rin, the reason I was busy," Jakken's curt voice cut the string of thought her mind was trailing along behind, thankfully keeping her from admitting the truth to herself. "Was because Inuyasha came around."  
Rin fell to her knees and grabbed Jakken around his throat, shaking him to emphasize her point. "What did you say?"  
"Inuyasha.....was....here..." he blurted out as he tried to gulp down precious air, but was nearly unable to find enough to speak. Rin released him roughly, pushing him to the ground. "He was asking...about you."  
Rin glared at Jakken suspiciously. "Now what would that trash want with me? He already got what he wanted, didn't he? Sesshomaru's dead, and there's nothing anyone can do about it." Rin found herself, once again, sporting shiny pricks of water in the corners of her eyes. Instead of blinked them away, she allowed herself to show the mind-numbing grief she could not escape, even in her dreams. "What did he want?" she repeated.  
Jakken looked down at his feet, and mumbled something inaudible. Rin growled faintly, and his eyes met hers. "He wanted to know how you were, since-you know. Since IT happened." Jakken looked away once more. "He was worried about you; half-youkai means half-human, Rin. That means he has a heart."  
Rin eyes Jakken warily, trying not to show how much his words bothered her by giggling gently. "Forgive me, Jakken, but it sounds like you're getting soft on me. And you can't do that anytime soon, now, can you?" Jakken looked at her, mouth agape, and shook his head dumbly. Rin smiled at him wholeheartedly and pushed herself to her feet. "Come on, Jakken. Let's fine a way to roast this thing."  
Jakken peered at her shoulders intently, seeming to notice the bloody animal for the first time; he opened his eyes wide in surprise and stared at her. "Did you...kill that on your own, Rin?"  
She nodded proudly. "Yup, I sure did." Her smile wavered slightly. "Shame for it to go to waste, though. Too bad there's no fire."  
Jakken looked to his right hand where a knotted old staff stood erect, two heads dangling from the end. "Well, Rin, I suppose I COULD use the Staff to create a fire for us. But just this once, alright? Tomorrow we'll have to find a real way to have a fire." Rin nodded and stepped to the side, allowing Jakken to walk past her. He crouched before the fire, jumping back as flames spewed forth from the tip of his staff, igniting the charred logs to a cheerful blaze. Rin handed him the animal, marveling as he pierced its body with the stick, not seeming to notice the fact that the animal weighed more than he did.  
They ate their dinner in a friendly silence and cleaned up in much the same manner, not a single word uttered between them. Rin huddled by the fire as Jakken readied himself for sleep. She stared deep into the flames, almost seeing the image of Sesshomaru as he had been before his death. A warm flittering began in her body, sending chills coursing along her spine, though her body was warm. Her eyes opened wide as she realized why it hurt so much that Sesshomaru had died-been killed.  
She jumped to her feet and fell into her bedroll, trying to convince herself that she was wrong, that she was overreacting and seeking for some reason why it had felt so good when she was with Sesshomaru. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out all visions of Sesshomaru as he had once been, failing miserably. She could see him, as he had been almost a year ago, staring at her dumbly as the Tetsusaiga lanced through his heart, his mouth opening as he tried to force out the words he had no breath to say. He had mouthed three words, and time and again she tried to remember the shape his mouth had made, praying he had said what she had wanted to hear all along.  
Her eyes snapped open as she lost the war, surrendering herself the emotion she had known for years. She opened her mouth, not knowing or caring whether Jakken was awake; surely he knew, how could he not? "I love him. I love you, Sesshomaru..." She kissed the air faintly, dimly aware of the firmness of the breeze blowing across her face. She closed her eyes gently and drifted into an uneasy sleep, filled with pictures of Sesshomaru. Of the man she loved. 


	2. The second stealingheheh

A/N: Apparently not many people truly understand the gravity and importance of 'no matter what,' so I'm gonna tell you all about the importance of no matter what...make sure you read this, k?...*places magic charm on screen to force your eyes to stick to this.  
  
no matter what: simply means that no matter the situation, no matter how shitty something seems, no matter how mortifying someone's actions may be, you'll be with them forever. It means that there is nothing they could do to stifle the love you have for them. Even though sometimes no matter what could prove to be a destructive thing, it's still what YOU want; you want to help them, to make them feel...right.  
  
thank you, and have a nice day...O.o enjoy  
  
ps. i had originally designed this to be a one shot, so...oops...  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Carry On  
  
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"Rin, what ARE you doing in that thing? Take off immediately. Sesshomaru-sama might become angry with you wearing such a gaudy thing." Jakken pointed at Rin, and looked around nervously. "If Sesshomaru finds you like that, somehow I'll get in trouble for allowing you to wear something so...so..."  
"Seductive?" Rin giggled and looked around, searching the clearing for Sesshomaru, hoping to spot him before he had a chance to see her. She had traded her few precious belongings for the garment she wore wrapped tightly against her body, and she prayed endlessly for Sesshomaru's approval. She had bought it with the intentions of dancing for him around the fire that night, and maybe, just maybe, with him. She heard a faint rustle from behind her, breeze stirring the few tendrils of hair that had escaped the tight bun she wore around her head, and she darted behind a tree. Sesshomaru was returning from some trip, and she HAD to surprise him with the gown. What had the lady who sold it to her said? It made her look like a woman. She gnawed on her bottom lip when she heard the faint thump of the flying demon as it landed.  
Her insides seemed to shake and quiver as though she had eaten something rotten when she peered around the tree and caught a glimpse of Sesshomaru, even though it was only his back. She shook her head sharply, trying to clear the warm, gooey emotion she could not quite identify, and focused on listening to Sesshomaru's voice, feeling her heart soar along with every word he spoke. "Jakken, where is Rin?"  
It was her time to shine, though the thumping in her heart drowned out all thought, she knew she would have to step out and surprise Sesshomaru now, or else the pricey dress would have been for naught. She mustered all of the calmness she could possible find, and stepped out from behind the tree. Jakken glared at her with seething venom. "I am here, my lord."  
Sesshomaru turned around and all time slowed as he stared at her, drinking in the figure he had failed to notice before now. His eyes darted to Rin's before beginning the long trek down her body; a journey that left a hard knot in his throat, one he could barely swallow. Rin, the little girl he had known for nine blissfully happy years stood before him now, as a woman, and a beautiful one he did not fail to notice. The silvery cloth clung against her body tightly, accentuating the woman Rin had blossomed into, and he felt himself begin to grow warm, unaware of the steps his body was taking closer to her.  
"Sesshomaru, what do you think?" Rin twirled and giggled, a crimson blush spreading beneath the fawn-brown eyes fixed upon him, nervousness spreading through her body as the youkai devoured the scant feet apart from them. She tilted her head and looked at him closely, a nervous grin spreading across her face as she reached out for his left hand, wanting to touch him. Her eyes closed blissfully, suddenly aware Sesshomaru's face was a hairsbreadth from hers, his lips so close she could almost feel them.  
And then it happened, faster than she could breath, faster than he could move, faster than her mind could register the pained expression on his face. A flash of red passed through the clearing so fast she could barely see it, though she would not have searched for it anyway. Sesshomaru slumped against her, eyes glazing over as his body pressed against hers, arms spreading around her back, encircling her shoulders. He looked at her with complete seriousness, though death was leading him away on a leash, he struggled long enough to mouth three short words before slumping to the ground.  
Rin lifted her eyes off Sesshomaru's own lifeless orbs to catch a glimpse of a dancing red demon, metallic blade in hand as he jumped from the ground to the trees. ::Run, Inuyasha, run. I will find you-and kill you. You stole Sesshomaru from me:: Though the words encouraged her considerably, she knew there was no substance behind the bold words; she was not a killer and never would be. ::I should just give up now:: She did not realize the tears coursing down her cheeks until they soaked through her silk dress and she felt the cool wetness dotting her chest. She glanced down, surprised by the feeling, and found her eyes locked onto Sesshomaru's pale face, no emotions coursing through her; she was an observer, a dreamer, and all of this would pass when she woke up the next morning, wouldn't it?  
But she knew it wouldn't, she knew her life had stopped and she could do nothing but mourn her loss until the end of her days. She would live a half-life now that he was gone; it was the least she could do, considering she had distracted him long enough for that...for him to die. Hers was the life that should have been forfeit, not his, not now when he was slow close to finding a soul of his own, finding a heart. She fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around his limp shoulders, pressing his face against her, crying into the nape of his neck.  
How long she stayed like that, she did not know; she jerked around when she felt a gentle pressure on her shoulder, and her eyes met the tearful face of Jakken. "Don't cry, Rin, we'll find a way to bring him back, won't we?" He placed his hand beneath her elbow and tried to push her onto her feet. Numbly, she complied and was soon towering over Sesshomaru's body where it lay tightly against the earth. Rin reached down to touch him once more, but Jakken jerked her away from the gruesome sight. "Rin, let's go. Surely someone will have magic enough to revive the slain. If only the Tensusaiga could be wielded by someone other than..." Jakken glanced over his shoulder at the body they were moving steadily away from, wiping away the tears in his eyes. "I guess we've got our job cut out for us, huh?"  
  
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When Jakken shoved a stick in her side to awaken her, her day began the same way it had for a little over the year. She yawned widely and scratched herself, stretching as she poked each limb tentatively out of her bedroll, testing the air for temperature. Jakken had already prepared some kind of stew, the aroma wafted through the tiny circular clearing, and Rin inhaled the fragrant scent deeply, detecting the faint scent of the animal she had slaughtered the night before. He walked over to the pot once he was certain she would not crawl back into her bed, and grabbed the wooden ladle, stirring slowly while humming to himself.  
She staggered into the woods, wiping her eyes painfully, trying to displace the sleep lingering in her body. She grabbed a wooden twig, running the course bark over her teeth, tossing it behind her absently as soon as she was satisfied with her job, and lifted the hem of her shirt. She had used a clean tunic for a pillow the night before and had grabbed automatically when she disappeared into the woods, the fact that she followed the routine ever morning evident in the lazy way she did everything. The clean tunic she tugged over her dark brown hair, pulling it out from the collar, suddenly feeling more refreshed. She turned to join Jakken for breakfast when an all too familiar scent hit her.  
"You've grown, Rin."  
She turned around slowly, dread coursing through her body as she registered the owner of both scent and voice. She displaced the fear on her face with the anger and hatred she had felt for a year, and turned to confront him.  
When she spoke, it was evenly and slowly. "Inuyasha..." 


	3. The grand finalllleeeeheheh

A/N: Well, I hope that you're still awake, and you can clean that drool off your lip...though it's very attractive, I assure you...well, if you're reading, keep your heads up and eyes open for a new fic in the brainstorming stage...think about it...brainstorming. doesn't that sound...painful?...*lightning bolts flash in head*  
  
erm...carry on...  
  
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Rin crouched her knees, bunching her muscles to attack, knowing full well the might of the Tetsusaiga could easily wound her-kill her-without her so much as having the opportunity to defend herself. She arched her fingers in the shape of claws, hoping she could scratch the filthy beast before her death; slight pain was worth than receiving no punishment for killing her beloved. She glared up at him from her crouch, a fire alighting her blood with anger, realizing that before her stood her sworn enemy.  
"Inuyasha, what the hell do you want with me?" She screamed at him, managing to add hissing venom to each word. "Haven't you screwed me enough? You killed Sesshomaru!" Unbidden tears pricked her eyes with cold wetness and she hastily brushed them awake, hoping Inuyasha would not pity her for the display of weakness. She looked at Inuyasha through blurred eyes and saw that his expression had not changed; he looked at her blankly as if he saw someone behind the woman. "Look at me, damn you!"  
Before she realized it, her legs had unfolded in a fluid motion, propelling her towards the hanyou scant feet in front of her. She reached pulled back her right arm to strike with her clawed fist, and fell to the ground gasping for air. Inuyasha's hand lay buried in her gut, the daunting blank stare still adorning his cold face. He laid her against the ground gently, making care to keep his hand beneath her head, his expression remaining calm as Rin cursed between laborious gulps of air.  
"You sick bastard, why don't you just go to hell where you belong. Just die, you-"  
"Rin, you have no why I'm here, do you?" He looked at her sympathetically, his expression changing slightly; the corners of his lips sagged with concern. The gentleness in his eyes melted her heart, and she swallowed her words, somehow forgetting who crouched by her side, face inches from her own. She shook her head slowly, mouth opened slightly, an obvious display of her surprise and curiosity. "I figured as much." He shook her head gently. "Not like you could know of course."  
"Jakken told me you came looking for me yesterday." Her mouth spoke on its own accord, long before she could register his own words. "Why?"  
Inuyasha looked away and stared deep into the forest, watching as the gentle green leaves floated through the air, dancing in the shafts of bright light shining down through the tree's crown. He sighed, trying to justify his rash decision to himself, though he could not-would not-admit the real reason he had chosen to act the way he would. He had not told anyone-not even Kagome-about what he had secretly decided almost a year ago, and he could not bring himself to tell her now. They had worked so hard to complete the jewel; he felt like he was betraying all of them. ::Sango, Miroku, Shippou...Kagome...please forgive me, but I must do this::  
Rin peered around Inuyasha's shoulder and looked deep into his golden wolf eyes and spoke into his ear gently. "Inuyasha?"  
He looked at her blankly, the vague expression adorning his face once more and he held out his hand, holding his balled fist over her hands. She stared at him for a long second before his intentions dawned on her and she opened her hands to form a cup. He dropped something heavy in them and grabbed her hands, closing them over the warm, glowing ball. He looked into her eyes, searching them with his own and leaned forward, kissing her cheek gently. "Rin, once I stole something from you, and now that I know the importance of love, I can't live with myself." He looked away quickly, but not before Rin caught a glimpse of glittering tears. "Take it, use it, and bring him back safely to you."  
"What is it?" Rin stared at her hands, still covered by his, trying to ignore the warm spot on her cheek where his lips had met her skin. His hands still held hers tightly, and she could not pry them from his grasp, though she tugged and jerked, trying to be freed from his grasp.  
"Don't look till I'm gone, alright?" He looked away, and pushed himself to his feet, turning his back on her slowly, lifting his hands off hers regretfully. "I have a feeling I'm doing the right thing, though it might not work out so good for me." He shrugged casually, the back of his head bobbing as his silver hair cascaded down his shoulders, catching the light and glimmering like a many-facetted jewel. "Meh, what can you do, huh?" He tossed his hand to the side and sighed, glancing at her offhandedly. "Just make sure he leaves me alone, alright?"  
Before Rin could open her mouth to reply, Inuyasha was dancing through the trees, heading back towards Kagome and the others. She stared after him, feeling an odd mixture of feelings, ranging from anger and hate to care. She had almost forgotten about the heavy ball in her palm before she opened it to look at it. She held it close to her nose, trying to identify the odd orb in her hand, marveling at its smooth surface, watching as the colors beneath it shifted.  
Realization struck her like a stone and she toppled over, falling to her knees with a shocking thud, wincing as pain lanced through her body, creeping through her from her back. She did not notice the searing hotness as she stared at the orb, pulling it as close to her face as she could, noticing the ball gave off a slightly warm aura. She stared at it, the gravity of the hanyou's actions hitting her like a wall. She turned to look after him, though he was long gone.  
Rin opened her mouth slightly, and the words slid off her tongue like glass; she clenched the stone in her hand and balled her fist around it. "The Shikon no Tama..." Her voice faded off into the distance, mingling with the calls of the birds in the trees, unaware of the two golden eyes locked on her. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Rin ran back to the small clearing where Jakken sat, blowing on the ladle gently to cool the steaming food and lifted it to his mouth, sipping it slowly. He looked at her absently, not knowing or caring what the young woman did as long as it would not come back to haunt him. He did not hate her so much as he had originally thought, and the two had grown closer-they were almost friends now-since the death of Sesshomaru. His eyes followed her body as she reached into the sack in which they carried their few precious belongings, pulling out a long silvery dress. He sighed to himself and took his eyes off her. Poor girl, she had taken Sesshomaru's death so hard.  
Rin's mouth watered as the thick wall of the stew's scent hit her nose, though she knew she could not eat the meal now. She was so close to bringing him back, to him. She pulled the long dress out of her sack, muttering a pathetic excuse to Jakken and ran back into the forest, pulling off her clothes as she went along, not caring for the dirt soiling her clean clothes. She tugged the silken cloth over her head and slid it down her body, reveling in the cool, misty feeling of the exquisite fabric, loving the feeling as the material hugged her body tightly.  
She slid to a stop, dirt spraying beneath her heels. She stood before an impressive expanse of grassy land, surprised to see the rolling hills for the first time. She blushed when she completely realized why she wanted to find the perfect spot for Sesshomaru-sama to be revived. She jerked her thoughts away from that line of thought and placed the famed jewel on the ground by her feet, eyes opening wide in surprise as the grass seemed to form a cradle for the glittering orb.  
"Shikon no Tama, hear my wish!" She stared at the orb, waiting for some change in its appearance, despair arising in her as the orb remained the same. "I wish for you to restore the life and body back into the demon Sesshomaru!" She winced as a brilliant light flooded her eyes, blinding her vision. Lightning lanced across the suddenly darkened sun, and a booming clap shook the land around her.  
"Rin?" She knew that voice.  
"Sesshomaru!" She turned back and saw before her the face she loved above all else, the one she loved above all else. She eagerly drank in his sight, a crimson blush spreading across her face when she realized he was naked. She turned her back on him, though it took all her effort to do so. "Sesshomaru-sama, you are unclothed." She glanced over her shoulder to say something, but could not remember what when his arms surrounded her.  
"Rin, why do you tease me so?" he asked when she looked away. "I traversed heaven and earth, searching for a way back to you, and you treat me as though I was nothing to you." He placed a clawed finger beneath her chin and turned her face back towards his, staring into her soul with his golden wolf eyes. "Rin, why do you act as though you had no feelings for you?"  
Rin laughed gently and threw her arms around Sesshomaru's neck, surprise apparent on both of their faces. "Sesshomaru, I-I love you and I always have. I want to be with you for-"  
Her mouth was silenced with his own as he swallowed her words, kissing her for the first time. She closed her eyes lazily, her body becoming limp, relying upon him to support her body as she drank in her beloved. She ran a hand through his long hair, twirling it absently, not noticing her own actions; they kissed passionately, not caring whether they breathed or not. He held her close against him and pressed his forehead against hers when they broke apart. "I love you, my Rin. Forever are you mine."  
::This is what it feels like:: Rin thought. ::Loving someone forever::  
::No matter what:: 


End file.
